So an Australian Roman Catholic Priest has revealed a secret.
He is married.
He has been secretly living a double life--for a while.
Yep. I have a glass house.
And, yep. I am going to toss a stone.
Not that he got married--though there is something I would question as to why he waited so long to finally commit-not very fair to the woman or the church.
But that's not my stone.
CNN reported that the majority of parishioners and whoever else they could get to share an opinion had decided that priests should be permitted to marry.
Thanks for that authoritative and well-researched insight CNN.
But that's not my stone.
The priest piled it on.
***warning this is the stone***
He needed to divert the pressure.
He needed a spin.
So he played the celibacy/pedophilia/i'm a healthy priest card.
Oh, and there is one more point--he's going to write a book exposing all the problems of the church and all the double lives that the majority of the priests are living.
Why not just go be with your wife? Do you really need to justify your choice by hiding behind the sins of others?
Bad form priest, bad form.
Showing posts with label married priests. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married priests. Show all posts
Friday, May 4, 2012
Friday, July 29, 2011
Celibacy--Oh Well
Today I heard of a priest who recently left the ministry. News like this tends to find me--must be the inactive priest magnet that I ontologically inherited.
Now, having been down the road of leaving the active diocesan priesthood years ago, I want to dismiss this blog from all rumors, slanders, and accusations which I am sure surround the specific situation. After all it really doesn't matter who or where or even how....does it?
What was interesting was where my brief conversation lead--the issue of celibacy.
The person asked me "Having been on both sides of the ministry" (He was speaking not only of my being a Roman Catholic priest, but a married Episcopalian for a stint) "...what do you think? Should the Roman Catholic Church allow it's priests to be married?"
"Nope."
I didn't have to think one second.
My lived experience was all I needed.
I used to believe that mandatory celibacy was one of the roots of many evils in the Church--and the uneducated media and issue driven (often angry) people want you to believe such.
Don't even go down the sexual perversion route--last I checked marriage was not seen as a cure for sexual predators.
Getting rid of celibacy is not the answer to any evil in the church or the world.
Last I checked there are other faiths where celibacy is not mandatory for it's ministers and their formation programs are not all filled to capacity.
When I was a Roman Catholic priest--I had no concerns over getting the family to church or dealing with the opinions of parishoners if your family preferred going to an earlier service or if your child didn't smile at someone else's kid or if it was your family's turn to provide cookies after the service--and that's just one Sunday. Not to mention when you come home on that same day getting called out to the hospital while your family was heading in a completely different direction, or getting the house painted and cutting the grass-------i'm just saying when I was a Roman Catholic priest I didn't have those 'little' concerns.
I have heard all the arguments--theological, social, historical, financial, and cultural--I put alot of effort into trying to convince people for years that the church needed to change and grow..
That's like marrying someone thinking you can make them into someone else.
On occasion a priest who is thinking about leaving will contact me. Right away I will ask them if they are in an intimate relationship and they answer 'yes'. At that point I cut right to the chase. They owe it to themselves and their love to discern properly. Don't even start giving me the arguments for relaxing celibacy and don't complain to me about the way the Church needs to grow and change. It is just wasted energy and it deflects from the real discernment that the 'couple' will need to enter into.
I figured they called me so I have nothing to lose by coddling them.
If you are in love then great--you'll grow deeper into God. If you aren't in love and are just lonely and ticked--well that is a whole other issue.
So my opinion on celibacy is not what one would expect to hear from a 'married' priest.
Oh well.
Now, having been down the road of leaving the active diocesan priesthood years ago, I want to dismiss this blog from all rumors, slanders, and accusations which I am sure surround the specific situation. After all it really doesn't matter who or where or even how....does it?
What was interesting was where my brief conversation lead--the issue of celibacy.
The person asked me "Having been on both sides of the ministry" (He was speaking not only of my being a Roman Catholic priest, but a married Episcopalian for a stint) "...what do you think? Should the Roman Catholic Church allow it's priests to be married?"
"Nope."
I didn't have to think one second.
My lived experience was all I needed.
I used to believe that mandatory celibacy was one of the roots of many evils in the Church--and the uneducated media and issue driven (often angry) people want you to believe such.
Don't even go down the sexual perversion route--last I checked marriage was not seen as a cure for sexual predators.
Getting rid of celibacy is not the answer to any evil in the church or the world.
Last I checked there are other faiths where celibacy is not mandatory for it's ministers and their formation programs are not all filled to capacity.
When I was a Roman Catholic priest--I had no concerns over getting the family to church or dealing with the opinions of parishoners if your family preferred going to an earlier service or if your child didn't smile at someone else's kid or if it was your family's turn to provide cookies after the service--and that's just one Sunday. Not to mention when you come home on that same day getting called out to the hospital while your family was heading in a completely different direction, or getting the house painted and cutting the grass-------i'm just saying when I was a Roman Catholic priest I didn't have those 'little' concerns.
I have heard all the arguments--theological, social, historical, financial, and cultural--I put alot of effort into trying to convince people for years that the church needed to change and grow..
That's like marrying someone thinking you can make them into someone else.
On occasion a priest who is thinking about leaving will contact me. Right away I will ask them if they are in an intimate relationship and they answer 'yes'. At that point I cut right to the chase. They owe it to themselves and their love to discern properly. Don't even start giving me the arguments for relaxing celibacy and don't complain to me about the way the Church needs to grow and change. It is just wasted energy and it deflects from the real discernment that the 'couple' will need to enter into.
I figured they called me so I have nothing to lose by coddling them.
If you are in love then great--you'll grow deeper into God. If you aren't in love and are just lonely and ticked--well that is a whole other issue.
So my opinion on celibacy is not what one would expect to hear from a 'married' priest.
Oh well.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Light and getting out of Dodge
My son and I loaded the pickup truck with our overnight gear and headed out.
Out of the diocese that is.
It felt good to get away from this week--to get out of Dodge.
A few hours later and we were at Uncle Len's.
After a quick rest stop at his house we headed to church for Mass.
There we sat in the front pew and listened to the priest who happened to be....Uncle Len.
He preached about people who were the Light of Christ in his life and why they were the Light of Christ.
I glanced at the credance table and saw the familiar chalice--the silver one with the Apostles and the deep red background. I remembered years ago of concelebrating Holy Eucharist with that same chalice.
Uncle Len was my first pastor. He had me when I was a snot nosed pushy kid out of seminary.
Come to think of it--he's a rare breed. He is what guys referred to as 'lifers'--the ones who entered priestly formation as a freshman in high school. I'm not sure if there is such a program anymore, anywhere.
Yeh. Len put up with a lot from me.
He was the last priest that I actually prayed in community with--as a priest.
I wonder how many priests living in rectorys pray together. (Then again, I wonder how many priests are praying.)
Uncle Len has been a light in my life.
I am not sure you are aware but there exist unwrittend codes in the clergy world. One of those codes is you don't check on a guy when he leaves. You drop him.
Len didn't. In fact the reason he's called 'uncle' is because my son has known him his whole life.
Len was the one who provided a church for my son's baptism. He was the one who would travel and visit. And he was the one who sat quietly in the waiting room at the hospital with me, awaiting word on my wife's surgery.
...the Light of Christ.
Out of the diocese that is.
It felt good to get away from this week--to get out of Dodge.
A few hours later and we were at Uncle Len's.
After a quick rest stop at his house we headed to church for Mass.
There we sat in the front pew and listened to the priest who happened to be....Uncle Len.
He preached about people who were the Light of Christ in his life and why they were the Light of Christ.
I glanced at the credance table and saw the familiar chalice--the silver one with the Apostles and the deep red background. I remembered years ago of concelebrating Holy Eucharist with that same chalice.
Uncle Len was my first pastor. He had me when I was a snot nosed pushy kid out of seminary.
Come to think of it--he's a rare breed. He is what guys referred to as 'lifers'--the ones who entered priestly formation as a freshman in high school. I'm not sure if there is such a program anymore, anywhere.
Yeh. Len put up with a lot from me.
He was the last priest that I actually prayed in community with--as a priest.
I wonder how many priests living in rectorys pray together. (Then again, I wonder how many priests are praying.)
Uncle Len has been a light in my life.
I am not sure you are aware but there exist unwrittend codes in the clergy world. One of those codes is you don't check on a guy when he leaves. You drop him.
Len didn't. In fact the reason he's called 'uncle' is because my son has known him his whole life.
Len was the one who provided a church for my son's baptism. He was the one who would travel and visit. And he was the one who sat quietly in the waiting room at the hospital with me, awaiting word on my wife's surgery.
...the Light of Christ.
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