Fatherhood--Priesthood

The following article of mine was picked up by Priest Magazine a couple years back and has now become an 'annual' post.

I sat in the pew and listened as the newly ordained priest introduced himself to the congregation; “Hello, I am Father…”  I remembered the many times I stood before a congregation and how blank their stare was.  But there was no getting around it.  The first weekend in a parish for a new priest was simply exhausting on a variety of levels.    

            Sitting next to me were my wife and son and the three of us glanced and smiled at one another.  As the priest  began his homily, I settled into thinking about the word he just used; Father.  Though I knew he was using it simply as a title, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was aware of its power—a power that can open his life to a much deeper existence.  Father is a word that transcends the vocational boundaries of priesthood and dadhood. So, for what it is worth, here are some thoughts from a man who was both.

Being a Dad means you are not the center.

Fatherhood isn’t about you—you are about it.  Priesthood isn’t about you—you are about it.

Fatherhood is about sacrifice

Dads keep a variety of vigils in life.  From the bedside of your sick child, to the middle of the night worries about losing your job, to watching your spouse suffer through chemotherapy—desperately hoping your child doesn’t fall into despair.  We simply keep vigils at all hours, day and night.  Keeping vigil has something to do with asking the question “Why?” and then moving the heart to trusting that God is present.  Keeping vigil is really about offering everything back to God.  Spend a night in prayer.  It will do your soul good.

There is no such thing as a day off.

There might be a day off from work or even vacations—but you are still a Dad.  In priesthood, a day off should not become an excuse to blend into the world.  One of the worst homilies I ever heard was preached at a first Mass of a newly ordained—the premise being that to be a good priest the new priest must venture forth and immerse himself in the world. He must read, watch and listen to what the people read, watch, and listen. Really?

Being a parent means trusting in Divine Providence.

It means putting earthly desires aside and consciously uncovering your soul’s desire for God.  When this happens—God provides everything you need.  Where is your desire?  What is your desire?  Being more concerned about the diocesan campaign and weekly collection than anything else is fertile ground for self destruction.

To be a good Dad, I need to pray and fast

Constant prayer and fasting must be modeled.  As a priest it is easy to get caught up in the responsibility of leading prayer—so much that one forgets to pray.  That is acting not praying.  Fasting, true physical fasting magnifies heartfelt prayer.  “Only by prayer and fasting…”-Jesus Christ

A Dad must not shy from teaching right from wrong.  

For now, I must be my son’s shield and filter from the media frenzied world.  You are the teacher—Nobody else has the responsibility of your child’s soul.

Priests, are you truly living a conscientious priesthood and teaching right from wrong?  Are you truly caring for their souls?  Or are you living a soft approach more conscious of popularity?  Being a priest means that you are loved for just that—not super homilies, not building a parish, not even keeping everyone ‘entertained’ on a Sunday morning.  Live the Sacrifice…there is no greater love.  Spend just as much time in the confessional as you do in meetings.

The easiest way to be a good Dad is to love your son’s Mother.

Not all Dad’s have the blessing of a loving wife and mother of their son.  But I know one thing, without her I’d be lost.  Her love makes me want to be a good Dad.

Priests, love the Mother of Jesus, she will help you.

Being a Dad means I will never have this opportunity again.

Every practice, every event, every game, every recital, every kiss good night, every prayer—live your Fatherhood with intention.

Pray this Mass as if it were your first, your only, and your last

And so, let us pray for our Fathers.

Fr. Ego vs. Fr. Real

Here's a juxtaposition for you

I read a news article today about a priest who is 'revitalizing' an inner city parish.
It was all about the priest.  He is packing them in, numbers are up, baskets are full, and the best part...
The people love him.  They adore him.  You know the drill--the smooth talking schmoozer preaching feel good pop spiritual psychology (i know 'cause i did it).
The people adore him.  Throughout the story the priest's name was mentioned a bunch of times.

But guess whose name was missing?

Not once was the name Jesus Christ mentioned.

They even mentioned the names of Hollywood celebrities who he has acquainted. That sure makes me want to go to church there.  If he knew a Hollywood star then he must really be the cat's meow (actually I am a dog person).

The name of Jesus Christ isn't mentioned once.  Not even in a quote from the priest.  Remember that name?  Jesus.  You know, the name that makes demons flee.   shhhhh don't say it you might ruin a good thing.

Now, here's the juxtaposition--don't give up hope yet---

While the name of Christ was not mentioned in the article about a Roman Catholic priest--I hear of another new pastor (this is not in the newspapers because it isn't 'popular') who has begun perpetual adoration at his parish.  

Good show.  He lives his pastorate with Eucharistic Adoration not a media blitz.

pray for our priests.

Should be Interesting

The first pastor I was assigned to has begun blogging. 
I was a brand new priest when I arrived some twenty years age under his tutelage --three hours later he took off for a week long vacation.
Some say he has been on vacation ever since. 

Seriously, he has a bunch to offer and I am glad Father Len (aka Uncle Len) is sharing his experiences of priesthood.



Please pray for all the victims of the earthquake.
And for all those who have died...Eternal rest grant unto them O' Lord.

The Lost Sacrifice

It never fails.  Whenever someone finds out that I “used to be” a priest they quickly follow up with asking; “Do you miss doing anything?”

                “Yep…Holy Eucharist.”

                The older I get the quicker my response. 

                But, before I elaborate I want you to know a couple of things.  First, I am happily married and the love and constant forgiveness of my wife is what allows me to be forthright with you.  I also offer a disclaimer to any priest or lay person who may read this and feel slighted, challenged, or pushed just a little.

                Last year (outside my diocese--maybe…and not in my current diocese—maybe) I was trying to ‘pray along’ with the celebrant.  Unfortunately he appeared to be suffering from some kind of spiritual angst.  His voice changed during the Eucharistic prayer and he seemed to be in some sort of physical pain.  It just seemed way over the top and just a little too much acting.  Then, following Holy Communion he stood up, told a joke, handled the announcements and his voice was back to normal!

                 It was a dual personality experience.   

                That very well could have been me—acting and playing the crowd.

                When I was a young priest,  I never really ‘offered’ the sacrifice of the Mass.  Sure, I was spiritually formed in the theology and liturgy of the Mass.  But, on my part, something was always missing.  Maybe because as  young priest I was taught that I needed to be more relevant to the people in the pew.  I was told that what was needed were action plans and success plans and professional leaders who had clear goals and objectives and job descriptions.  During my first years of priesthood I watched as Altars of sacrifice were replaced with ‘mission statements’.  And I bought into it.  I was to be more than a priest.  I was to be a leader and a manager and a presider at liturgies.  Here I was a priest and I never did a personal holy hour or just went and sat in the confessional—at an unscheduled time.  No wonder I was empty.

                The result of such an approach, years later, is a consumer based social phenomena gone rampant in the Church.  A priest no longer offers sacrifice but a product.  Priests and lay people buy books and programs and go to seminars to learn to be ministers and offer a product—not an invitation to sacrifice. 

                Sacrifice has been lost.  It has completely flipped.  Satan has to be snickering.

                In a world of identity theft we are faced with the very identity of the priesthood and the church being stolen by secular ideals, approaches, and desires to make the church more ‘relevant.’ 

                Relevant is for an American Idol contestant—not the priesthood, not the church.  When you go down the road of relevancy you end up in relativism…and that is for another time.